There are no perfect families. Yet it is so easy to compare and look at the family down the road and think that the grass really is greener over there. This is especially true when there is a sibling in the family with a disability or illness. Different kids deal with it in different ways. Some find it very challenging, while others have never known any different.
It can help to learn as much about the condition or disability as you can, so that you can understand better what your sibling is going through. It can also help to be able to explain to others if they ask. Sometimes siblings will ask their parents to ask them the awkward questions that often come from complete strangers so they can practice their responses as opposed to being put on the spot in the moment and getting nervous.
Siblings can help by simply treating their brother or sister with the disability like the member of the family that they are. Things like joking around, laughing together, and doing things together help to normalize the environment. They can encourage their sibling to do things for themselves. With all the equipment for disabled people available, people with disabilities can become far more independent than they could in previous times.
Many children in families where there is a sibling who is disabled struggle and put pressure on themselves to over achieve, feeling that they need to somehow make up for what they perceive is lacking in the sibling. Maybe they see their parents struggling to care for their sibling, so they decide they will be "no trouble at all" to their parents and allow themselves to let their legitimate needs go unmet. This can often create more problems in the family as tensions will build.
What is healthy is to be honest and talk with your parents about the way things are. There will be days when it's not so bad, but there will be times when you may feel embarrassed, angry, frustrated, and fed up, and wishing you were in a different family. This is normal! What will help is keeping the communication lines open and talking through it, as well as speaking to others who also have siblings who are disabled.
It can help to learn as much about the condition or disability as you can, so that you can understand better what your sibling is going through. It can also help to be able to explain to others if they ask. Sometimes siblings will ask their parents to ask them the awkward questions that often come from complete strangers so they can practice their responses as opposed to being put on the spot in the moment and getting nervous.
Siblings can help by simply treating their brother or sister with the disability like the member of the family that they are. Things like joking around, laughing together, and doing things together help to normalize the environment. They can encourage their sibling to do things for themselves. With all the equipment for disabled people available, people with disabilities can become far more independent than they could in previous times.
Many children in families where there is a sibling who is disabled struggle and put pressure on themselves to over achieve, feeling that they need to somehow make up for what they perceive is lacking in the sibling. Maybe they see their parents struggling to care for their sibling, so they decide they will be "no trouble at all" to their parents and allow themselves to let their legitimate needs go unmet. This can often create more problems in the family as tensions will build.
What is healthy is to be honest and talk with your parents about the way things are. There will be days when it's not so bad, but there will be times when you may feel embarrassed, angry, frustrated, and fed up, and wishing you were in a different family. This is normal! What will help is keeping the communication lines open and talking through it, as well as speaking to others who also have siblings who are disabled.
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If you are looking for expert advice or help to find disability equipment contact Astorbannerman.co.uk.
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